Ask For What You Need
I will always put other people’s needs ahead of my own. It’s actually something that I pride myself on. I value relationships, so being aware of the people around me is important.
The thing is, when I lean too far that way, I actually get resentful. I have always had a belief that people should just care as much as I do. It has been a hard lesson for me to learn. People care about different things.
I am a planner. I have been able to handle a lot of things on my own. I have a lot of capacity, and enjoy figuring things out. When I was younger and had to admit I couldn’t handle it, either I would push myself towards burnout, or I would sulk about having to give it away (thank goodness for maturity lessons).
The reality is that I didn’t have a lot of great role models that would support me in this skill. I was taught to handle it, and was praised for my capacity. It never made sense to me when other people couldn’t hack it.
This year, I have had to step out of my comfort zone and get comfortable with giving feedback more readily (and more quickly), and knowing what to ask for when I need something. This is not easy for me. But honestly, it’s been such a wonderful learning experience for me.
I have been able to learn the benefit of allowing others around you to step into their leadership. It’s the gift that keeps on giving! Plus, when I am vulnerable enough to ask for something I need to be successful or supported, it strengthens my belief that I am not alone (another lesson that I am learning).
All people can do is respond to your ask. Honestly, you learn more about the recipient of your question in their answer.
I will keep practicing sharing my feelings and opening the door to being supported. It builds trust, and that is still in line with what I believe.