I am at an edge. What I mean by edge is that I can feel my inadequacy around a skill (let’s be honest - skills) I need to learn. I know enough to know that I don’t know what I am doing. Martin M. Broadwell designed “ the four levels of teaching” to refer to this as conscious incompetence:
Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, they recognize the deficit, as well as the value of a new skill in addressing the deficit. The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage.
I wish I had something poignant to say about this. The reality is that it sucks. I feel so incompetent, even though the skill I want to learn is not possible for me to know at this point in my life given my trajectory.
I always think it’s amazing that we have self-talk that is so detrimental to the learning process. Even though I know that this is just learning, I find that there are times that I am beating myself up around not knowing it yet. And then there are little things that are so innocent that trigger me because I feel so incompetent.
All I can offer here is that it’s true that growth is hard. And all you can do is keep going. Pick a practice, build a habit and stick with it. Build yourself up! And then bring people around you that will support you in different ways. Your friends and family obviously. But mentors, coaches, therapists, peers, etc. Do what you can to set yourself up for success.